Saturday, October 08, 2005

Wings

DISCLAIMER: If you're one of those people who'd get all kinds of batty about the most self-congratulatory piece I've ever written, then just spare yourself (and all of us) the anger and go read something else. Thank you.

* * *

Cari fratelli e sorelle--


How did I get here? I'm still trying to figure it out.

Yesterday, at about 2PM, Whispers received its 100,000th Visitor since the counter's inception on 4 June. Of course, as the blog had already been up and running five months at the time, the real number already stands well in excess of 100K. This is somewhat akin to the birth of Jesus, which actually happened somewhere between 4 and 6 BC.

Squilla la tromba del Grande Giubileo!

No words are adequate to express my amazement at this milestone. But these two are a start: "Thank You."

If I thanked by name everyone who's been a part of making this experience the wonder and joy it's been to this point, the counter would be at 200K by the time I wrapped up. But there are certain groups and certain people without whose superhuman kindness toward and support of me, this work would never have existed to see this point.

My family and friends still have little clue what exactly a blog is but have been incredibly patient and understanding with me, and I am what I am because of the love and inspiration they've given me. In their life with each other -- which we'll celebrate a month from today on their Silver Wedding Anniversary -- my parents have been for my sister and me the model of good humor, of patient endurance and of unconditional love, both for each other and their children. To experience this gold standard of a relationship as the goal to seek out and live by in our own journeys remains a priceless experience and the choicest gift of my days.

The many religion journalists I've worked with through the years have long known me as a friend, source and sounding board. That I can now call them my colleagues should scare the bejesus out of all of us. May I one day live up to the example of integrity, balance and expertise they practice on the beat, in and out of season.

My dear clergy, both at home and beyond, for whom these have not been easy times and who have often been assailed on all sides. A priest once told me that he defined his priesthood as "bringing people from death to life -- you know, just getting someone over the bump, and then on to the next person to help them along." The selflessness so many of you show in this exercise of ministry is more of a gift now than ever before. May the affirmation you've earned always be present to sustain and encourage you. I can only pray I've done you and your common excellence justice in these pages. All thanks for your many gifts of kindness, friendship and advice. Please, for the love of the church, keep showing those insipid tribal chiefs what it truly means to be a priest among men.

Carissimi Romani, grazie mille per tutte le cose che voi avete affidati a me. Thanks for keeping me plugged in with the doings of the Mothership and putting up with me. Ci vediamo presto.

To Amy the Fair for consistently showering me with what has come to be known as the "Welborn Effect," I remain ever-grateful for its wonders and for the blessings of her friendship and encouragement. Advice to bloggers: When Amy links to you, the spotlight is on.

Sons and daughters of the Church, my beloved readers.... All of us don't always see eye to eye with each other, and some of you have seen fit to defame me both in this forum and elsewhere with insinuations against my character and person which are as vile and un-Christian as they are untrue. But every visit to these pages, every e.mail, every last abusive word thrown my way has been for me an affirmation of the value and quality of my work, the frustration with which the obstinate resist the truth -- and, of course, that no man is a prophet in his own country.

I came to the blogosphere with a scary suspicion that the notion of communio had gone out the window in many places, and that "Sentire cum Ecclesia" had become selectively applied by some to solely those cases where "Ecclesia thinks like me." Sadly, the more disconcerting moments of this experience have confirmed that suspicion, but at the same time I have been buoyed up and blessed by the witness, support and fidelity of others from around the world who live this faith in its richness and testify to it not with a 2X4, but with great love and a kindnes truly derived from the heart of Christ.

To that latter group, you have all the appreciation of this grateful heart. And to the former group, I gently suggest you look around your parish churches this coming Sunday morning. The people around you may be gay, they may be conservative, they may have green hair or look and dress differently than you. Whatever the case, and however much you may think of your own self, it doesn't mean that the others are any less Catholic than you. And they just might be closer to where you need to be. The politics of division and attack have no place in the life of the People of God, and as soon as the truth that we are a church of sinners is taken off the table by the modern equivalent of the Scribes and Pharisees, we're all in big trouble -- and no one should take any joy in a church of the sinless, because none of us would be able to take part in it, however loudly some of you may scream.

To my guardian angels -- those intrepid souls who've been so kind as to faithfully keep in touch and keep me going with donations, ledes, and generous doses of sanity, humor and moments of growth to this point of the ride. You know who you are, and you're the ones who have kept this enterprise going. May you have all the rewards you seek today and always. No words could express my appreciation for your goodness and example. You've been as much a part of this effort as the humble writer you've been so kind to help.

And two more -- first, to everyone whose e.mails I've either been late in replying to or haven't gotten back to, I ask forgiveness. The spirit is willing, but the writer is weak. Believe me, I always beat myself up for everything I'm not able to get to.

Lastly, my heart is full of affection and gratitude for the gift of Anthony Cardinal Bevilacqua, without whose presence I wouldn't have written a word or thought a thought about this faith in all its richness. In the mysterious design of Providence, I believe that God brought His Eminence into my life many years ago for a reason. And through the years, he has never ceased to be my teacher, my cheerleader, my protector, my mentor and my friend -- and his wise counsel has never steered me wrong. While the revelations of these last weeks will take their place in the record of history, it would be a tragic injustice for them to overshadow and nullify six decades of a priesthood and episcopacy which has brought about so much good in the lives of so many. The Cardinal has always believed in me more than I've believed in myself, and his confidence in me has been a life-changing and defining blessing, encouraging me to reach heights even I thought unattainable. Along with the priests of my childhood and adolescence who taught me the importance of being a "priest among men," I can never repay the goodness and support of my first teacher, first reader and beloved friend.

OK, I'm all thank you-ed out. So what now?

Well, not many blogs see 100,000 readers in their lifetimes, let alone in the space of four months. I don't usually feel accomplished, but this is an accomplishment.

Say what you will, but I've never approached this as an "anything goes" blog -- it's not a blog in the classical sense, really, as it has always been a work of rapid-turnover journalistic analysis and commentary because, well, I am a journalist and this just happens to be the new frontier of the craft, when handled as such. And I've always striven for precision, accuracy, and the best of expertise on the subject matter within the limits of my competence. It's not my judgment to determine whether I've succeeded at that, but the constant uptick in numbers (which now range between 1,800 and 2,000 visits a day during the workweek) has been encouragement enough to confirm that I haven't strayed from that course -- well, not much at least. I hope.

I think it's safe to say now that the vocation of the professional Vaticanologist has taken root in a new generation. And I'm it. Melchtry, too -- God love him. OK, that makes for two of us.

Stacy, we can handle this.

I'm immensely proud of all the ground covered over these 861 posts -- the future of the American hierarchy; all the continuing coverage of Rome; analysis which has consistently proven itself prescient and correct about two popes and their papacies; a commitment to intense coverage on stories which go beyond the constraints of daily journalism; important matters from off the beaten paths of the Catholic and secular presses; being the first to bring to light items as diverse as new liturgical texts, important speeches, statements and administrative actions and, as you know, the breaking of several stories: most prominently, the resignation of Msgr. Eugene Clark as rector of St. Patrick's Cathedral, the most recent ICEL drafts, the appointment of Stanislaw Dziwisz as archbishop of Krakow and my crowning glory, the scoop of scoops -- the historic appointment of Archbishop William Levada as prefect of the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith and the highest-ranking American in the history of the Holy See.

All in all, that's not a record to sneeze at. Unlike the others in this medium, I put my name and reputation on the line with all of this. And now, with this record on the books, I must make good on a promise to myself, because I've given my all to this work but cannot do so forever under the current operating conditions.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

What you've seen here every day is the "outside of the tapestry." Behind it lies 12-to-16-hour days six days a week which have held me captive to the desk and the phone, answering e.mails, doing research, reading, writing, tweaking, you name it.

All this has taken its toll -- at one point, I did check into the ER with a bout of exhaustion. I've tried to prolong the stay of execution as long as humanly possible, but it's come to the point that I have to stand by the professional nature and quality of this work, the effort I've put into it, and my demonstrated expertise at the beat. As much as I love all this -- and I could do the blog forever -- I need to take care of myself first of all.

You can only keep putting your life, security and well-being on hold for so long before it becomes clear that you can't keep hoping for something to come tomorrow -- that it has to be today, or else.

This is all a long way of saying that, with great sadness and effective immediately, the daily publication of Whispers is suspended.

Please believe me when I tell you that I wished that it would never have to come to this, but time and again I would ask for a boost, for ledes, for something -- anything -- to help me and the work along. And while I'm grateful beyond words for all the support I've gotten as a result of those requests, I need to handle the obligations which accumulate every day, obligations I've continued to procrastinate on because my love and devotion to this work have been so great. And I've finally realized that all this feed is too good to be given away for free; I know too many others in the biz who are a lot more comfortable and do a lot less. And they sure as hell would never do it on this kind of scale.

In sum, I need to respect my talent -- for once.

You don't need me to tell you that I love this beat and this business -- why else would I have studied it for four years, then devoted another year of my life to it full time and for no pay? If the conditions were right, I could do it forever and a day and never once tire of it. And if there are any media outlets out there eager enough to bring me aboard, get in touch. I have the audience, my record speaks for itself, and this blog is the best resume you will ever see in your life.

So the Fifth Floor at the USCCB and the Philadelphia Chancery -- where I'm read four times a day, on average -- are getting a break. For now.

But don't worry, I'm not going away forever. Or much at all, really. You can still find me in the pages of The Tablet, and anywhere else courageous enough to take me on. Do support and read The World's Best Catholic Paper, which has long been a lodestar for me and so many others. To contribute, however insignificantly, to its pages is the greatest honor I could've ever imagined, and I'm so humbled and thrilled to be a part of its extended family which spans the globe.

I will be resurfacing here from time to time and posting whatever breaking stories I can get my hands on -- you know I have a tendency to bump into those at a good clip. So keep an eye here.

OK, I've said enough. To one and all, please keep in touch -- I'll have more time for my e.mails now, so I promise replies.

And to those of you, my new friends, who've been mind-blowingly kind, generous and true Christians to this fellow traveller, yours is a place in my grateful thoughts, my prayers, and in my heart.

May God's love be with you, and may he be as good to you as you have been to me. Always.

-30-

32 Comments:

Blogger Dom Dominic said...

No matter if I agree or disagree, you are always an enjoyable read.
May God continue to bless you in all that you do! Peace and all goodness!

8/10/05 02:14  
Blogger Venerable Aussie said...

Hey, you can't do this. I was just getting used to you!

And I confess I probably accounted for about 1000 of those hits since I discovered you a couple of weeks back!

Whether I agree or disagree - as Dom Dominic said - (and it's probably more the latter), the selections always reflect a sincere desire to come to terms with an institution, divinely founded and inspired, but full of sinners.

God Bless!

8/10/05 07:40  
Blogger Big Chris said...

Hey Rocco,

Thanks a million for doing such a bang-up job on this site for the last little while. No doubt this was one of my favorite sites to surf to and be called snowflake.

Alas, Papabile and Whispers are no more. A dreadful dearth of witty commentary will now befall blogdom.

Good luck on your next undertaking!

8/10/05 08:17  
Blogger Ray from MN said...

I just started reading you about a month ago. Amy sent me!

Sometimes I've been aghast at your style, but I've always been interested in what you had to say.

Thank you. Be good to yourself, too.

8/10/05 08:30  
Blogger justplaincath said...

So. . . .does this mean that "Whispers" will be available by subscription?

If so, BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!

If not, I am glad to have been a reader since mid-August, and I leave you with the following:

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be ever at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
And the rain fall soft upon your fields
And UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

8/10/05 09:20  
Blogger Jon said...

Like I said the first time (before you deleted it)...

Don't cry, Rock. Uncle Di will pick up the slack.

8/10/05 11:55  
Blogger Gyrovagus said...

When it comes to crying, Jon, don't worry about Rock.

Listen to the (ICEL paraphrased) words of Jesus:

"Weep not for Rocco, but for Jon and for his children" - if they have to deal with even a fraction of the attitude you've displayed on this blog.

I picture them "bundled into the car and driven 30 minutes to the Tridentine Mass once a month."

May I hazard a guess as to where they'll be "bundling" themselves off to once they each hit 18?

They should all turn out as good as Rocco has.

Rock on, Rock!

Now, run along, Jon - go bother someone else!

8/10/05 12:13  
Blogger Ron Rolling said...

Congratulations on your milestone. It is definitely a result of the hard work you have done and the maturing of your style. May I be that fortunate with my 'blog one day.

I am sorry you will reducing your posts here. I believe you are correct that weblogs in professional hands are on the leading edge of become the new big media. More along the evolutionary line of print, then radio, then television, now here.

And which end of the candle is shorter? I am also glad you seeing fit to take care of yourself in all ways. Perhaps a lesson learned in how to pace your passionate approach to what you do?

The best to you, always and all ways.

Numbers 6:22-27.

8/10/05 12:39  
Blogger Jon said...

Gyrovirus,

So sad the host has died. Where will you replicate now?

8/10/05 12:40  
Blogger Gyrovagus said...

Jon -

Have you got your kids as screwed up as you are yet?

Do their parents' friends let them come to your place to visit?

And if so (very unlikely, I know!) do the girls have to wear chapel veils?

But the big question is: where will you dump your venom now and on whom?

Oh wait! That's right! The right-wing blogosphere provides ample dumping grounds for religious nutters like you!

Bundle yourself up and go somewhere nice and toxic and dump on, dude!

8/10/05 13:11  
Blogger Jimmy Mac said...

Rock of Sages:

What's to say? In the wordsof the prophets Roy* and Dale*:

http://www.duchessathome.com/music/happytrailstoyou.html.


(*not to be confused with Siegried and Roy, who are false prophets).

And, yes, I do mean Rogers and Evans.

Of particular importance is the verse that goes: "It's the way you ride the trail that counts."

You have been a great Trail Rider and tale writer. We look forward to suprises and exposes from you in the future.

Come to the Really Big Show anytime.

8/10/05 13:18  
Blogger Jeff said...

Thanks so much for everthing. You were and are a delight. May all go well with you and we'll be delighted to see you here whenever you pop up with something!

God bless!

Jeff

8/10/05 13:44  
Blogger Jon said...

Gyrobaby,

The nails are broken again...but it's Saturday! Lucky you.

8/10/05 13:45  
Blogger Julie said...

You're a marvel and a truly great writer. You'll be very much missed on here. God bless you richly.

8/10/05 14:57  
Blogger Gyrovagus said...

Jon,

Based on your postings, the only thing anyone can say is: tell us, please.

When did you first suspect that you might be a homosexual?

8/10/05 15:00  
Blogger Tina said...

I just found this blog 3 weeks ago and have loved everything, even the stuff I don't agree with as I love to have things to mull over.

I do wish you would say what all the Latin means for all of us not so blessed.

I hope to see more of your writings.

And, as I am in the archdiocese that was blessed (or not) with Cardinal Rigali before you, lucky!

Please leave the archives up for a time so I can go back and read them and laugh.

I did so love the Pope Lime Green M&M image.

Tina

8/10/05 15:40  
Blogger srpreacheress said...

Say it isn't so, Rocco! Let me express my gratitude for being such a breath of fresh air in ecclesiastical blogdom! You have increased my understanding of the Church, and your love of the "Bride of Christ" has increased my love for her also. Might I suggest that you maintain an e-mail list and thus inform us of your recent articles (published or not?)? May the Lord prosper your writing and reward you for your work!

8/10/05 17:00  
Blogger Ada said...

well,I know I never wrote a comment or anything on this blog before but I've been a faithful reader since June and I must say I really ,really like your articles and your witty ,funny approach.I really hope u will not stay away from us for too long and that u will come back to share your talent with us ,the readers who can't buy The Tablet since we live far away from it(maybe I'm the only one but still...).Also last but not least and in a funnier note : I will miss your Piero Marini articles because I also like him so much and it's good to read some nice comments about him once in a while.

8/10/05 17:28  
Blogger Henry said...

Gyro,

Based on your postings, the only thing anyone can say is ...

Based on your own postings ... in all my blog-lurking, I've never seen one person be as wrong about another as you are about Jon (whom I've know well for quite a while).

He's as heterosexual as it gets, married with two fine son, wonderful wife, model marriage that most could only envy, the whole bit.

Daily Mass attender at his Novus Ordo parish, where he is -- among other parish contributions -- respected member of the liturgy committee, lead lector (the one often selected for Easter, Christmas, etc), a great (from the materials he's shared) religious education teacher (5th grade this past year, I believe), stalwart in every social event a busy parish can come up with. Committed third order Dominican, Eucharistic adorer, Divine Office devotee, ...

I could go on a while longer, but surely this is enough for even to get it. (And yes, occasionally he gets away for a traditional Latin Mass.)

You owe Jon a sincere apology, but I know your sorry type is never sincere, and never apologizes. So don't hold your breath, Jon, my good friend.

8/10/05 17:40  
Blogger Gyrovagus said...

Henry,

For someone who is so upset about my misjudging your good friend Jon, you clearly - typical religious passive-aggressive nutter that you are - have no trouble whatsoever judging me.

My postings to Jon were based solely on his vile and vicious - and yes, catty, prissy, and princess-y postings attacking Rocco.

Regarding what I owe Jon, my feeling is this: if you took care of your own soul and the apologies you no doubt owe to others, you'd be busy at least 48 hours a day.

Now run along . . . . I think you still have a half hour to get to Confession.

8/10/05 17:45  
Blogger justplaincath said...

Rocco, this last bit is a tribute to your Italian heritage. I may be Irish, but I married an Italian, so I can be family!!!

"Wherever the Catholic sun may shine,
There's music, laughter, and good red wine;
At least I've always heard it so;
Beneficamus Domino."

Rock on, Rocco, and keep on using that Clearasil!!!

8/10/05 18:14  
Blogger Jon said...

Good grief, Rock, now you’re blocking my comments access from my laptop? I know I rained on your going away party, but c’mon now.

First of all, thank you Henry. You’re the gentleman I’ve always known you to be, a friend in the truest sense, and a good son of Holy Mother Church. Your defense was unneeded, but deeply appreciated.

As for Gyro, well, his last drop of acid I expected. He’s spat the identical bile at others here and elsewhere on the web. I expected no better from him, a boy for whom the thrust and parry of hotly contested issue is a foreign thing. Apparently he’s never read St. Thomas More, who skewered similar champions of “reform” in his time on a much sharper blade than mine. I commend Gyro to his intercession.


As for Rocco, you are a gifted writer, without doubt. And I wish you success, I truly do. But not yet.


The Church is engaged in a struggle for her very existence, and you, young man, I say without equivocation, are on the wrong side of that struggle. Your heart may be in the right place, but your pen and your head are not. Your talent has gained for you a wide audience in places high and mighty, for which you should be deservedly proud. But it has also gained for you the attention of those who out of self-indulgent pique would pull down what Peter has built in 2,000 years of blood and prayers around their own deaf ears. They are not above using a 22 year-old American with a little polemical flair for their own dark ends. You’re not the only one with “serene and kindly” friends in Rome.

With that, I’ll leave your comments box, with prayers for your health, your happiness, and your eventual salvation.

8/10/05 20:02  
Blogger Gyrovagus said...

JON,

WHATEVER YOU DO - DO NOT EVER, EVER, EVER PRAY FOR ME!

As if God would listen to someone as tied up in his own phylacteries as you are, with a hardened heart full of judgment for everyone who's not just like you.

You self-anointed Guardians of Holy Mother Church are, in your spiritual arrogance, her worst enemies.

And blissfully blind to beam in your own eye, you've crashed onto the ecclesiastical scene gouging out the eyes - let alone the specks in the eyes - of everyone whom you deem unfit or unworthy.

Without Rocco to kick around anymore, maybe you'll have time to read any one of the Four Gospels (in the Latin Vulgate, if you wish, and if you can), but if you need a summary, here you go:

I dreamt Death came the other night,
And heaven's gate swung open wide.
An angel clad in shining white
Beckoned me inside.

And there, to my astonishment,
Were folks I'd judged and labeled
As quite unfit, of little worth,
And spiritually disabled.

Indignant words rose to my lips
But never were set free.
For every face showed stunned surprise:
NO ONE EXPECTED ME!

8/10/05 20:28  
Blogger Arch Episcopus said...

Princess Rocco....

Requiescat in pace!

9/10/05 01:19  
Blogger Gyrovagus said...

Well, Rocco . . . the high-ranking ArchEpiscopus Herself checks in . . . all the church queens mourn your passing, it seems . . . farewell, fair(y) fantasies, I guess.

9/10/05 13:14  
Blogger Arch Episcopus said...

Gyro:

Consider our seminary, yes?

Lacey rochets may be yours for the mere price of your soul.

Rocco, in the long run, you've done well, consider joining our Church too. It might just be the semi-sexual experience you need to take some of the heated criticism off your blood pressure!

With our Most Apostolic Gifts and blessings upon you, the intercession of Holy Lefebvre and everything repressive and hidden wtihin a miniscule # of the Church, barely even a movement...

I am your traditionalist brother in the Church of Holy Accidentals.

9/10/05 16:39  
Blogger David said...

Take care 0f yourself. I enjoy your blog.

9/10/05 20:21  
Blogger Neil said...

Dear Rocco,

Thank you so much for your blog. Can we still send you money? I'm sorry to say that I didn't do this earlier.

I'm also sorry to say that the above comments seem to suggest that your counsel that we look around to see that "Whatever the case, and however much you may think of your own self, it doesn't mean that the others are any less Catholic than you. And they just might be closer to where you need to be" is aptissime.

I do worry that our preoccupation on Vatican affairs, intensified by the instant communication of cyberspace, can distract us from reading Scripture and looking closely at the spiritual life. I hope that nobody knows more about the Pope's travels than St Paul's. But your analysis of church affairs, patient and humble, always more comfortable with humor rather than anger or outright dismissal, showed me a way of looking at ecclesiastical politics that unexpectedly tended to shed light on Augustine's famous dictum, "Love your brother; in loving your brother whom you see, you will see God at the same time."

Thank you again.

10/10/05 13:35  
Blogger John Hearn said...

Rock,

I will miss your blog! Watching your politics clash with your religion without you even knowing about the collision was fun, as was your extravagant rhetoric. But your heart is always in the right place. BTW, I don't believe for a moment that this hiatus will not end soon: I can't see you staying away from all of this instant journalistic ego gratification for very long, but that is a happy thought!

Loveya!

10/10/05 14:44  
Blogger Pinky said...

"Thank you, also, to Pinky, who brightens up my life with super awesome voicemails."

Aw, shucks, you're too kind.

11/10/05 16:40  
Blogger Richard said...

Hello Rocco,

I can't improve on Dom's opening post. So I won't try.

Keep up the great work.

best regards
Richard

11/10/05 17:19  
Blogger Marco, Trumphalistic Papist said...

Papabile gets kidnapped, now Rocco goes into hiding? Oh, cruel world, how can we go on?

11/10/05 20:01  

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