A Vote of Confidence

"We know that the race is not to the swift nor the Battle to the strong. Do you not believe an Angel rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm?"

That's one of my favorite quotes of history. And now, at a moment in the storm, I seek the Angels of the whirlwind, whom I hope to find in you, my readers....

I'm 22 years old, a starving writer trying to make something out of doing what I love doing, something I have built much of my life around. I have received the friendship, acclaim and encouragement of my colleagues and people on all sides of the public, media and Catholic spheres. And when the secular press gets tired of the church, when the mass audience turns away, I wanted to have something that those interested could turn to on a day-to-day basis, and so I started this blog.

It is more than I ever could have wished to experience.

But never did I think I would see the day when sheer malice, cowardice and intimidation would be hurled at me for speaking truth as I have seen, heard and experienced it. Never did I expect people to be so jealous, vicious and afraid of a single voice that they would threaten personal destruction in the name of God and of the church.

Last time I checked, we have a word for that -- terrorism.

It's a sad truth of the world that we are more vocal about that which we don't like than that which we do. Call me naive, call me weak, call me foolish, but I have always believed in our better angels. And whenever the worse demons arrive, it is very tough to hold hope, to hold faith, to find the will to persevere.

It is such a human temptation, and it's one I now face. To be frank, I'm tired of the bullshit, and I'm prepared to walk away and let the prophets of doom win and do what they wish with what remains.

That is, I will walk unless you, the readers, keep me from doing so. The future is in your hands.

I'm asking each of you: Be honest with me. Tell me that what I am doing is a valid service to my craft and to the world. Tell me that it is something worth fighting for and keeping at in spite of everything I've been made to endure. Tell me that I should not be discouraged, I should not leave the beat behind because 1% of the population is mercilessly misguided and wants to put a clampdown on open commentary and turn the church into its own unchallenged plaything.

Tell me this, please, if I have earned it and if you believe it. If not, I'll happily start a career plugging plastics or something far less controversial, and the fearful and faceless can have the church and bully others around.

At this point, my patience is spent. Remind me why I got into this.

Your comments are requested below. God love you all!

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