Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Calling All Fanilows

The Parousia must be near when the campiest nation on earth has turned on Barry Manilow:

In a move reminiscent of U.S. efforts to drive former Panama strongman Manuel Noriega from the Vatican Embassy where he took refuge in 1989, the local council in Rockdale, in Sydney's southern suburbs, started a six-month trial of high-volume hits by Manilow and Doris Day to chase away car enthusiasts who were gathering on weekend nights at Cook Park Reserve.

"Barry's our secret weapon," Rockdale Deputy Mayor Bill Saravinovski told The Daily Telegraph newspaper, four weeks after the start of the effort. "It seems to be working."

But some people living near the park are less than enthralled. They say the barrage of "Copacabana," "Could It Be Magic" and "Que Sera Sera," blasting from 9 p.m. to midnight every Friday, Saturday and Sunday is driving them crazy.

"I don't know how I will cope," said Moya Dunn, describing how the songs have invaded her house. "I just can't sleep when it's on, and to think there's going to be another six months of this."

Gratefully there are no "orthodox" seminaries near the place... If Manilow and Doris Day were blasting through the night, there'd be overcrowding. But I digress.

Full disclosure: the one Manilow song I can tolerate (for the curious, "Mandy") is playing over the speakers right now. All else is nails on a chalkboard, sorry.