Sunday, January 22, 2006

It's An Archdiocese Known For Its Freedom....

I never thought I'd ever see anything like this.... A priest openly, and under his own name, engaging in ecclesiastical whisper-games in the printed press.

Of course, you shouldn't be surprised one lick that the author of the piece serves in the beloved local church of San Francisco....
FOUR Catholic priests sit down to dinner Saturday night somewhere on the Peninsula. As they break bread, they savor the topic du jour — the Vatican's latest appointments. Let's listen in.


"I can't believe it, you guys! Bishop George Niederauer is coming from Utah to be archbishop of San Francisco, young Randy Calvo is going as pastor from Redwood City to be bishop of the diocese of Reno, and ol' Bill Levada gets the red hat in Rome!"...


"I hear Randy Calvo has rented the biggest banquet room in Reno for his ordination as bishop. The cathedral is just too small."

"Listen, Randy's going a long way. He's served as a judge on the San Francisco church tribunal and served three years on the board of the Canon Law Society of America. 'The Biggest Little City' is great for gambling, but it won't be his last stop."

Is America ready for a Guamanian archbishop?
You're right. But Randy is more than brains — he's a diplomat. Remember when the San Mateo County sheriffs and the Social Activities League were in a dither about clergy access to the Redwood City jails? Who mediated the settlement? Randy. He's a born reconciler. It's in his family history — did you know his cousin was governor of Guam?"

Coffee and dessert

"And what about our former archbishop, William J. Levada? I hear everything is scheduled so Levada will install Niederauer in San Francisco on Feb. 15. Next, the boys will trot off to Reno, where Niederauer will be presiding prelate at Randy's ordination on Feb. 17. Then, frequent-flier miles in hand, the whole bunch will go to Rome for Bill's elevation to the College of Cardinals on Feb. 22, the Feast of the Chair of Peter.

I've been thinking that the bishops will take a bus across the desert to Reno.... But I digress.

"I can almost hear Pope B-16 now, as he drops the red hat on Bill's head — 'Vell, Villiam, you left some of your blutt in San Francisco defending the kirk; now you muss be ready to give it alls here in Rome mit me.'"