Wednesday, October 28, 2009

For Phils-Yanks, the Redbirds Play Ball

Of course, with the World Champions ready for a rePheat, the Gods of Baseball spared Tim Dolan the worst crisis of his six-month tenure -- a series between his hometown St Louis Cardinals and new-turf Yankees to decide Stateside sport's most sacred prize.

If that came to pass, the Omnipresent One probably would've gone into hiding. But now, emboldened by the near-miss, Gotham's High Cheese has embarked on a bet with the River City's Most High Pharaoh -- who ordained Dolan a bishop in 2001 and, so they say, championed his protege's naming to New York -- for the Phils-Yanks faceoff, which begins tonight at The House That Jeter Built.

Here, the joint announcement:
Cardinal Justin Rigali, Archbishop of Philadelphia, and Archbishop Timothy Dolan, Archbishop of New York, have placed a friendly wager on the outcome of the 2009 World Series.

These two long-time friends spoke on Tuesday evening to settle the terms of the bet. If the Phillies win, Archbishop Dolan will ship a dozen bagels to the City of Brotherly Love; if the Yankees prevail, Cardinal Rigali will send a box of Tastykakes to the Big Apple.

Archbishop Dolan said, “Cardinal Rigali is one of my closest and dearest friends; for several years he even served as my Archbishop so I feel a particular loyalty to him. I know he has exquisite taste in most matters. I just wish he had better taste in baseball teams.”

Cardinal Rigali said, “I have great esteem for Archbishop Dolan. He is a gifted spiritual leader who has been a true friend for many years. That is why I am so sorry he will be disappointed when the Phillies successfully defend their World Championship. We have the cream cheese ready for the bagels that I know will be arriving shortly after the Repeat in the City of Brotherly and Sisterly love.”
One can't help thinking that, for good measure, they could've thrown in an appointment or two... even if they're probably backing the same horse for Springfield.

Go Pharaoh... and, no question, Go Phils.

Enjoy the Epic, gang -- it's gonna be a beaut.... Prediction: Phightins in 6.

PHOTO: Getty