Sunday, July 24, 2005

Permoids, Transies, and Other Spats

Buona domenica a tutti! As it's one of those lingering, lackadaisical Sundays -- the first day in memory when one can walk outside here without feeling that a bucket of sweat is being thrown at you -- just a couple musings inspired by the inbox:

A St. Louisan can picture that women's ordination on a boat in the middle of the Mississippi I talked about, complete with a Paul Robeson-esque singing of "Ol' Man River." But, as such gender-definitive language would be chauvinistic and exclusivist, wouldn't "Ol' Woman River" be more appropriate?

Now here's an idea for Gallo-Germanic fetishists in dioceses where the indult has not been employed -- why not make like the women's ordination crowd and do the old mass in the middle of a river? It's really easy to face east that way, not to mention a ridiculous way of crying victim. The fringes are quite good at that.

I received a wonderful e.mail from a very kind and enthusiastic permanent deacon. It reminded me of a (bizarre, per usual) distinction we employ here in Philadelphia -- because the Holy Father told us to.

In this Land of the Pharaohs, we refer to our permanent deacons (known on the street as "Permoids") as "Deacon." Yet our transitional deacons ("Transies," for short) get the bells-and-whistles of "Reverend Mr." This is because the latter will be Priests of Philadelphia and, therefore, must be exalted above all kinds of man, beast -- and, most especially, above products of "inferior" seminaries (i.e. anyplace that's not Rome or St. Charles Borromeo Seminary, Overbrook). An unknowing observer might be led to think that there are two kinds of diaconate. It's like believing that Monsignors are better priests because they wear purple....

Oh, wait, we're taught to think that, too.

Jacob the Vatican Watcher wants to know why bad boys (Marcel Maciel and Gino Burresi) get kid glove treatment from State while being investigated by the CDF. It's simple, snowflakes: "My enemy's enemy is my friend."

Even if you're a priest accused, if CDF's after you, State will coddle you -- for no other reason than because the CDF is after you. To paraphrase Seinfeld: "It's not you, it's them," and everything that comes beteween the two titans immediately becomes a flashpoint of differing views.

It's the groupthink equivalent of the Great Catfight in the PCL. Or the Red Sox/Yankees analogy. Or Southerners who are still fighting the Civil War, howling that the South will rise again. Or those sweethearts who want to jam conservative political philosophy down your throat and make you think it's the Host.

And if you dare say, "Oh, it can't be that bad," be wise to remember the immortal eight words of the Most High's disappointment on Election Night: "I am not close to him at all."

As B16 said -- most likely as a taunt -- "Happy Birthday!"

Allen reported a couple weeks back that Bertone's name is in the mix to succeed Sodano -- this is because, hailing from CDF, B16 has no trusted hands in State. If this appointment went down, the revolt in San Damaso would be so monumental that I'd have to fly over to witness it with my own eyes. For the first time, the Curia would be like the Italian unions and go on strike. Can you picture the Stateheads on a picket line? (Wearing their best Gammarelli, of course.) In their mind, it's bad enough to have a CDF Pope, but to have to cede control of their own office to the Dark Side? That'd be too much to bear. I'd have to bring a crate of Brunello to the Pink Palace.

That sound coming from the crypt of Santa Maria dei Fiori might just be a certain Sostituto spinning....

One last State/CDF rivalry story: Just as State lavishes the targets of the CDF, the opposition to the Council has, by tradition, been coddled by the CDF because Vatican II was the initiative of a State Pope.

When John XXIII -- a JCD who served in the Corps as nuncio to Istanbul and Paris before going to Venice -- spoke of the "prophets of doom" at the opening of the Council, his primary reference was to "King Con," the late Alfredo Ottaviani, Cardinal-Grand Inquisitor Extraordinaire. The Holy Office people saw the Council as a takeover attempt by the Dark Side, they hated the State Pope, who died and was replaced by... a State Pope (Montini, Paul VI).

Because he needed some kind of excuse to obfuscate the agenda, Ottaviani framed all this as an attempt to make what he characterized as the State approach to church -- a multicultural, progressive one engaged with the modern world, as opposed to the fortress mentality of his Inquisition -- solemnly defined. That's why King Con never gave up on the ways of old, and screamed so much on the Council Floor that John Krol had to shut his microphone off.

If State didn't run the show, why else would its Great Son do an EWTN show praising those days?

More later.



Blogger Jacob said...

Despite what some might regard as the absurdity of the con position, I'd rather be backing them to throw the wrench into the State gears than be State and back people who have allegedly committed crimes that in most jurisdictions would land those people in jail for some serious time in order to throw a wrench into the CDF gears...

But hey, to each his own.

24/7/05 14:32  

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